Qman Goes Psycho!
by Ayame Takaishi
Summary: This is my first Gundam and humor ficcy. Well there's a sleepover at Quatre's house. And I think the title explains the rest.


Disclaimer: I don't own G-Wing

Disclaimer: I don't own G-Wing. Enough said.

This is me first Gundam and humor ficcy. I think it's a little screwy but oh well. Please R&R. Flames are accepted. WARNING: I think Quatre is a **little** out of character. Oh! Me forgot they are all sleeping over at Quatre's house.

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Q-man Goes Psycho!

By: Ayame Takaishi

"Ahhh! Die braid boy! How dare you insult me! I'm no weakling!" yelled Wufei as he chased Duo. "If you want a weakling go insult Quatre!"

Quatre looked up from the sweet puppy picture he was drawing and told Wufei, "I'm no weakling! You're mean!"

He then abandoned his drawing and started to chase Wufei around.

Heero and Trowa reluctantly looked up from the books that they were reading (Heero was reading a book about guns. He was engrossed in the book. He was on the section about the 44 magnum, a powerful handgun, and was a little irritated at the interruption. Trowa was reading about lions in the wild.) What they saw was Quatre chasing Wufei who was chasing Duo.

"Hey Wufei! If you want someone weak say Relena!" yelled Quatre.

Heero heard this and got up. He walked to Quatre so silently that Quatre didn't realize until Heero grabbed him from behind and pressed a gun to his head.

"Omae o korosu," said the ever serious Heero.

"Sorry Heero! Okay okay Relena's not weak! She's a very powerful person!" pleaded a frantic Quatre.

"That's better," said Heero as he removed the gun from Quatre's head.

Quatre sat down right where he was standing and was sweating like crazy. By now Wufei had stopped chasing Duo to watch Quatre's breakdown. Duo, realizing his chance, hid behind Trowa hoping that Wufei would forget how pissed he was.

As Duo watched Quatre collapse he couldn't help but yell, "Oh my god Quatre! You saying Relena's powerful! Why not just stand up to Heero! Wufei's right you are weak."

Duo of course was joking but Quatre… well let's just say he took it seriously.

Quatre started talking to himself saying, "You guys are right I am weak. I don't deserve to be this powerful."

He just kept saying things like that. Duo was about to tell Quatre he was joking when, as if a zero-system went on in Quatre, Quatre gave an evil Quatre laugh. You know like in episode 21 "Grief Stricken Quatre".

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

The remaining four gundam pilots looked at each other with an 'oh shit' look. That was when Quatre started talking.

"Now the real fun! TORTURE TIME!"

All the gundam pilots scattered (yes even Heero). Still Quatre caught every one of them, tied them up and threw each into a separate room.

*Pause ficcy for a minute*

You must be wondering how Quatre was able to tie them up and catch them all. Well psychotic equals adrenaline got it?

*Back to ficcy*

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Duo's torture

Duo found himself tied down to the floor. He tried to get out of his restraints but failed. Then psycho Quatre came in…

"Hiya Duo! Ready for some fun?" said psycho Quatre in a voice too sane for someone psycho.

Psycho Quatre didn't wait for an answer. He walked up to Duo and started untying his braid.

"NO!!! NO!!! ANYTHING BUT THE BRAID!!"

As psycho Quatre was untying the braid a LOT of stuff fell out. There were lock pickers, bubble gum, candy…..(it goes on)… and exactly $0.75. Psycho Quatre picked up the $0.75.

"Duo why were you trying to steal money from my kitty bank," asked psycho Quatre innocently.

"I didn't steal it. It's mine. I was walkin' and I found it. Give it back. I can buy more candy with that."

"Stop lying! YOU STOLE IT!! YOU STOLE IT!! YOU STOLE IT!!" ranted psycho Quatre.

"Fine then keep the stupid money. Geez."

"Thank you but you still have to suffer for stealing it."

He spread out Duo's hair and brought out a cart with all kinds of junk in it. First psycho Quatre poured maple syrup in Duo's hair ignoring Duo's rants and pleadings. Then he put on various hair dying colors. Then he stuck in all kinds of hair clips and hair jewels. He put on more junk that I don't feel like mentioning. Then he took out the killer…scissors. As Duo saw the light glint off the shiny, silver, SHARP scissors. He could only say one word.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

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Trowa's torture

Trowa was tied to a chair in a room. Guess who walks in and says, "Hi Trowa!"

Trowa's response was, "…"

"Oh fine then don't say anything."

"…"

"Trowa you're really starting to annoy me. Oh well you're turn."

Psycho Quatre brought out all the same junk as when he did Duo's torture. But before he could do the destroying of the hair he had to wash out the 12 pounds of gel. Instead of regular water he used dirty dishwater (don't ask me how). When psycho Quatre was done with putting all the junk in Towa's hair Trowa could not lift his head. So you know how much crap psycho Quatre put in his hair cause the guy could hold his head up with 12 pounds of gel but he couldn't hold all of that crap. 

"Bye bye Trowa hope ya had fun!"

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Heero's torture

Heero had triple times the restraints because who knows what he hides in those spandex of his. Psycho Quatre came in with a big box.

Heero told psycho Quatre, "Mfwm a kodmwb"

But you couldn't understand him because of the gag placed in his mouth.

Psycho Quatre told Heero, "This will be fun. Guess what I've got."

Heero said, "Mwbmw."

"Well here's a clue," psycho Quatre.

He brought out a piece of paper and showed it to Heero. Heero's eyes went wide at the sight of what was on the paper O.O It was a picture of Relena she was wearing her Sanq Kingdom uniform. Psycho Quatre shoved the paper in Heero's face and ripped it into little pieces. (A/N: Since Heero is a computer freak he went on the Internet and got all the pictures of Relena that exists. Thus the big box) Heero's torture went on a little longer than the last two cause he watched Quatre rip every single picture. It didn't take as long as you might think because remember Quatre's psycho. This is the transformation of Heero -.- o.o O.O

Heero was devastated. He had spent weeks going through all the sites that existed. He never got any sleep. 

He the let out a muffled, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

****

Wufei's torture

Wufei found himself in a bathroom. A very luxurious one at that. He was tied to the wall. Psycho Quatre walked in with a large bag. 

"Hey Wufei! Ready for your fun?" asked psycho Quatre.

"What are you going to do onna?" spat out Wufei.

"You'll see," said psycho Quatre.

He reached into the big bag and grabbed some make-up powder. Of course Wufei didn't know what it was but Quatre applied a heavy amount. He then furiously went about applying blush, eye shadow, mascara, and eyeliner. He then added the finishing touch, some hot pink lipstick. About Wufei's hair he broke the thick coat of gel with a hammer. He then twisted Wufei's hair into a bun on the top of his head. And the finishing touch on the hair was adding some hideously colored, plastic, bright pink flowers. About the clothes he stuck a bright pink tank dress that went down to the mid thigh. He stuck white gloves on his hands. For his shoes he put on some bright pink spike heels that made him wobble as he stood. 

"Where the hell did you learn how to do this crud!" demanded Wufei.

Psycho Quatre just gave him a look that said duh and the replied, " Duh! I have 29 older sisters where do you think I learned it!"

Wufei was trying to take the damn shoes off his feet because they hurt like hell when psycho Quatre said, "SMILE!"

He then snapped a picture as Wufei screamed and thrashed against the bindings because now psycho Quatre had a picture of him that he so did not need for his image.

"Guess what's going to happen when I post this baby on the Internet? See ya Wufei!"

Psycho Quatre exited as Wufei screamed and thrashed more than ever.

Psycho Quatre said, "That was fun maybe I'll do it again sometime! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

Well that was all. Please tell me what you think people. Oh and if you think I should change anyone's 'torture' tell me. If I like it I'll change it. I mainly didn't know what to do for Trowa so help me out people! I also got help on this ficcy from my friend Relena Yuy. So thank you Relena!


End file.
